My wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March 2009. Back then we didn't know that I was going to receive my own cancer diagnosis only seven months later. But in this mini series of six parts called "Our Breast Cancer", I intend to talk about how our lives have changed when we learned about my wife's cancer. It's important that you understand, that the following text is from my point of view only, not my wife's .
I received a call from my wife Ann while I was in a hotel room down in North Carolina, attending a business conference. She just had been to her yearly mammography and was called back in for a biopsy. We didn't think much of it, it happened before. Also, her two sisters and her mom had biopsies done, too and they were always benign.
Therefore, I was not prepared to receive the following message from her: "You have to be strong for me now - I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer". It felt as if the floor was pulled away under my feet. This was too much for me, this was irrational, completely. I had troubles breathing and I wanted to throw up. There was an enormous amount of guilt coming upon me, and to this day I am not sure why, but that's how I felt.
The most devastating part in that moment was the fact, that I couldn't be with my wife to comfort her. I got angry because I was so far away with no chance to get back home. If I was lucky, maybe I could get on a flight the next day.
As soon as we hung up the phone, it really hit me big time. All I could do was crying and moaning. I hope you will never ever have to experience such a situation.
And in the midst of all that, all of a sudden all the things in my life got assigned with different priorities. Ann's health was now the single most important thing. All our struggles with the mortgage, the bills, etc. became irrelevant instantaneously. I prayed and asked the Lord for help. I was never into organized religion, but I always had faith. Well, he might have been a little surprised that I asked him for help, but for some reason, I felt that he was there for me and I experienced a sense of comfort.
But I realized that I had a lot of things to do. I went online and checked the flight schedule. And there it was; a flight going out back to Jersey at 10:00pm. This was my chance. I changed my initial reservation and booked me a seat on that plane. A few minutes later the airline called me to tell me that this flight is about to get cancelled due to an imminent storm on the East Coast. However, if I could make it within 40 minutes to the airport, they would get me on an earlier flight. So I had 40 minutes to get my stuff together, check out, get a cab and make it somehow onto that plane.
My hotel was very kind and offered me a lift to the airport. But I was unlucky with the driver. He meant well but coming from the Kentucky area and since he just started his new job, he missed the one and only highway exit off to the airport. And the next chance to turn around was about 15 miles away. I didn't show it, but inside of me I was falling apart.
I don't know how it was actually possible, but I still made it. I like to believe that the Lord had mercy with me and I know that this might sound corny to some of you. But anyway, I got on the waiting plane and a few hours later I was able to hold my wife in my arms. The first battle in our personal war on cancer was won.
I received a call from my wife Ann while I was in a hotel room down in North Carolina, attending a business conference. She just had been to her yearly mammography and was called back in for a biopsy. We didn't think much of it, it happened before. Also, her two sisters and her mom had biopsies done, too and they were always benign.
Therefore, I was not prepared to receive the following message from her: "You have to be strong for me now - I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer". It felt as if the floor was pulled away under my feet. This was too much for me, this was irrational, completely. I had troubles breathing and I wanted to throw up. There was an enormous amount of guilt coming upon me, and to this day I am not sure why, but that's how I felt.
The most devastating part in that moment was the fact, that I couldn't be with my wife to comfort her. I got angry because I was so far away with no chance to get back home. If I was lucky, maybe I could get on a flight the next day.
As soon as we hung up the phone, it really hit me big time. All I could do was crying and moaning. I hope you will never ever have to experience such a situation.
And in the midst of all that, all of a sudden all the things in my life got assigned with different priorities. Ann's health was now the single most important thing. All our struggles with the mortgage, the bills, etc. became irrelevant instantaneously. I prayed and asked the Lord for help. I was never into organized religion, but I always had faith. Well, he might have been a little surprised that I asked him for help, but for some reason, I felt that he was there for me and I experienced a sense of comfort.
But I realized that I had a lot of things to do. I went online and checked the flight schedule. And there it was; a flight going out back to Jersey at 10:00pm. This was my chance. I changed my initial reservation and booked me a seat on that plane. A few minutes later the airline called me to tell me that this flight is about to get cancelled due to an imminent storm on the East Coast. However, if I could make it within 40 minutes to the airport, they would get me on an earlier flight. So I had 40 minutes to get my stuff together, check out, get a cab and make it somehow onto that plane.
My hotel was very kind and offered me a lift to the airport. But I was unlucky with the driver. He meant well but coming from the Kentucky area and since he just started his new job, he missed the one and only highway exit off to the airport. And the next chance to turn around was about 15 miles away. I didn't show it, but inside of me I was falling apart.
I don't know how it was actually possible, but I still made it. I like to believe that the Lord had mercy with me and I know that this might sound corny to some of you. But anyway, I got on the waiting plane and a few hours later I was able to hold my wife in my arms. The first battle in our personal war on cancer was won.
About the Author:
A few months after his wife Ann got diagnosed with Breast Cancer, the author of this article Tony Ulrich started his website called Our Breast Cancer. You just read Our Breast Cancer Story Part One from his mini essay 'Ann's an Tony's Breast Cancer Story'.
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