Was this an inspired act or simply temporary insanity? It was a little of both, I suppose, but now this running business is starting to take hold on a regular basis, with me placing running shoes and socks in a reminder spot by the kitchen door. I no longer wonder whether homo sapiens were ever intended for this activity.
My never intended but sudden urge to pick up the pace was in response to literally tripping over a long lost friend at a high school reunion. In a single afternoon's conversation, she inspired me to think differently about a lot of things, including enjoying the capabilities of my aging body, going beyond my original intentions. Up to that time, I had been gradually getting stronger over a period of months, picking up speed while enjoying the benefits of better sleep and appreciated "think time" out on the path. Instead of begrudging the time slot as I originally had, I now looked forward to it. A shift in mindset was taking place; the positive was bumping out the negative. One evening , a funny thing happened; my pace was a little quicker than usual, I was feeling good and almost before I realized what was happening, I had trotted a quarter of a mile. I was heading into new and exciting territory.
I was rushing to grab a soda at my high school reunion when I foolishly fell over the foot rest of someone's wheel chair. Pulling myself back together and apologizing profusely, I looked into the face of my old girlhood friend, Sherry B. Her grin was as generous as ever and so was her demeanor. We warmed to each other as though little more than a couple of months had passed since we had last seen each other, not the actual decades. Of course, we had both changed but Sherry's transformation was the most remarkable on so many levels. A Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis in her early twenties had made a deep physical impact but she was also now a profound philosopher as I was about to find out.
With the same spunk she'd had as a teenager, Sherry told me about her family and her life in general, which included an unexpected but frank discussion of managing incontinence. She heard me mention that I did some work for an adult diapers supplier and she let me know we were on some common ground. She told me of how she grappled with the realization that incontinence was going to be a fact of her life not long after getting her last baby out of his own diapers. Still the die-hard country music fan as she always was, Sherry told me that she kept a Dolly Parton quote on her fridge door: "We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust the sails." "So," she said, "I have been busy taking sailing lessons."
Any of that half empty glass philosophy I had been embracing was embarrassed right out of me. I was aging normally and even had some genetic inheritance that was naturally holding a number of unpleasant possibilities at bay. Yet I could be aggravated by an ill timed sneeze that threatened to send me to the changing room. That is a far cry from needing adult diapers but it is a gentle reminder of what a short trip that could be for some.
Incontinence was an indignity that Sherry's disease forced her to cope with far too early in life. Normally, if and when women experience incontinence, it is the result of deteriorating muscle tone due to the aging process. Such is the unfair lot of many female bodies; minute sphincter muscles are their bladders' lonely gate keepers between dry and wet. Childbearing, impact exercises (think jumping jacks and running) and aging can all be agents of incontinence. While it is certainly not that every woman is going to have to resort to adult diapers, statistics show that of the more than 25 million Americans who experience degrees of urinary incontinence, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent are women. Such staggering figures as these mean a lot of people out there would benefit from Sherry's sailing lessons.
Every day now, Sherry and I FaceBook each other. We're not going to let the years come between us again. I have reacquainted myself with a very special woman, one who inspired me to run again. Today I sent her a message that read "I have a new technique for engaging 'the wall' [a silly concept for someone who only goes a mile or two!]. I lift my head and get my eyes off the ground. As I watch the clouds, I can breathe easier and am no longer worrying about the remaining haul. It works." She replied with her trademark encouragement: "Set your sails and catch the wind. And for heaven's sake, buy a good sports bra.
About the Author:
Ms. Kew has been caregiver to seniors for over thirty years and is now the Director of Web-Based Support for an major online discount retailer of Adult Diapers where she is building an internet library to help inform and support those who find themselves having to cope with incontinence, as a caregiver or for themselves. Kate encourages all to visit and use this web-based resource: Coping with Adult Diapers.
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